i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
