she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
