oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
