Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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