i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
