i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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