Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
