You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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