she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
