I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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