i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
