You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize