i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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