Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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