They should really pass out barf bags in church
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
