Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
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