Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize