I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
