There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
two words...techno handjob
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
