You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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