So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
id be glad to
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
