my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
