Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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