Small penises have feelings too.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I need water and some morals
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
