as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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