Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I currently don't understand fingers.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
