You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
