He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
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