he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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