I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
