Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
