do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
