I only kidnapped one of them. chill
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
