I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
