put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
