this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
