Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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