you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
