i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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