My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
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