this just has baby written all over it
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
