It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
