Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
