Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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