you guys were way drunker than both of me
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
