Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
