Just mADE A PArabola og urine
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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