That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
