this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I need to align my fucking chakras
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
