ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
