I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
