Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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