My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize