whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
