Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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