I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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