He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
